Why your story isn’t connecting with your audience (and how to fix it)

You’ve just finished telling a story that means a lot to you, or one you thought would be a hit. Maybe it’s something that changed the way you see the world, taught you an important lesson, or simply made you laugh harder than you have in years.

But instead of the reaction you expected, you’re met with polite smiles. Maybe a few nods. And then someone changes the subject.

What happened?

The truth is, having a meaningful experience and telling a meaningful story aren’t quite the same thing. Even the most interesting experiences can fall flat when we don’t communicate them in a way that resonates with other people.

The good news is that learning how to connect with your audience through storytelling is a skill you can develop.

Here are five common storytelling mistakes that might be getting in the way and what you can do about them.

You’re focusing on what happened, not why it matters

Think about the last time someone told you a story that seemed to go on forever.

They described where they went, who was there, what everyone said, and what happened next. Sometimes in excruciating detail, with several unnecessary side stories that didn’t advance the plot. But more on that later.

And when they finally finished, you were left thinking, Okay, but what’s the point?

That’s the difference between recounting an experience and telling a compelling story.

A sequence of events tells us what happened. A story helps us understand why those events matter.

A sequence of events tells us what happened. A story helps us understand why those events matter.

That doesn’t mean every story needs a profound lesson. Sometimes the point is a funny realization, an unexpected connection, or a small shift in perspective.

Before you tell a story, ask yourself: What do I want someone to take away from this?

You don’t need to—and probably shouldn’t—state that takeaway explicitly. But knowing what it is will help you decide which parts of the experience belong in your story.

You’re giving your audience too much information

Imagine you’re giving a talk and recounting a memorable conversation you had with a stranger at a coffee shop.

You might start by explaining why you went to that particular coffee shop, how long you’ve been going there, what you ordered, and how crowded it was that morning.

But does your audience need to know all of that?

Maybe. If the crowded coffee shop is what led to the conversation, it’s relevant. If your drink order has nothing to do with what happened, it most likely isn’t.

One of the most common storytelling mistakes is confusing more detail with better storytelling.

Details are what make stories come alive, but too many of them can bury the very moment you want people to remember.

Of course, your goal shouldn’t always be to tell a shorter story. Regardless of length, focus on telling a more intentional one.

As you revise, look at each detail and ask what it’s doing for the story. Is it establishing context? Building curiosity? Helping the audience picture a moment or understand its significance?

If it’s not contributing anything meaningful, you can probably leave it out.

There’s nothing for your audience to wonder about

Why do we stay up past our bedtime reading a novel? Or watch just one more episode of a show when we know we should turn off the television?

Because we want to know what happens next.

Curiosity is one of the most powerful tools in storytelling. When your audience has a question they want answered, they have a reason to keep listening or reading.

And you don’t need soap opera-level drama or a life-or-death situation to create that curiosity.

Consider these two openings:

Last weekend, I went hiking with some friends. We had a great time, although the trail was harder than I expected.

Now compare that with:

About halfway up the mountain, I started wondering if I’d made a terrible mistake.

Both could introduce the same experience. But the second gives us something to wonder about. What went wrong? Did the person turn around? What happened next?

That unanswered question creates tension, even though the situation itself is fairly ordinary.

When you’re shaping a story, think about what might make your readers or listeners curious. Is there an unexpected development, a difficult decision, or a moment when things didn’t go as planned?

You don’t have to manufacture drama (in fact, please don’t). You just need to identify the natural tension that’s already there.

You’re telling your audience what to feel

There’s a difference between telling someone you were devastated and helping them understand what that devastation felt like.

Consider the sentence:

I was heartbroken when my dog died.

It’s clear. It’s direct. And sometimes, that’s exactly what a story needs.

But depending on what you’re trying to communicate, a specific detail might be more powerful:

For weeks afterward, I kept reaching for his leash when it was time for our evening walk.

The second example doesn’t use the word heartbroken because it doesn’t need to.

Instead, it gives the audience a moment they can picture and interpret for themselves.

This is one reason specific details are so valuable in storytelling. Actions, observations, and small moments can communicate emotions that are difficult to capture through explanation alone.

The same principle applies to a story’s meaning.

If you spend too much time explaining what an experience taught you or how your audience should interpret it, you may leave them with very little to discover.

That doesn’t mean you should never name an emotion or share a lesson—sometimes doing so is exactly the right move.

But before you explain how someone should feel about your story, consider whether you’ve already given them enough to feel something on their own.

You haven’t considered what your audience brings to the story

Put this in your pocket: Your audience hasn’t lived your life.

They don’t necessarily know the characters in your story, have enough background information, or share the same assumptions you do.

And even when they understand exactly what happened, they might interpret it differently.

That’s not necessarily a problem. It’s part of what makes storytelling interesting. Think back to your high school literature classes and how many different interpretations there could be of the same six-line poem.

Your job as a storyteller is to find a point of connection.

Let’s say you’re writing a story about leaving a successful career to pursue something entirely different.

Not all of your readers will have made that same decision. For some, it may never have crossed their minds.

But plenty of people know what it’s like to weigh a big decision, worry about disappointing someone, or wonder whether they’re capable of starting over.

Those are the experiences and emotions that can make your story resonate beyond its specific circumstances. Because as unique as each of us are, there are parts of the human experience we all share.

Connecting with your audience doesn’t mean changing your story to tell people what they want to hear, but rather recognizing what they might bring to it.

Before you share a story, consider who you’re speaking or writing to. What do they probably already understand? What might need more context? And where might their experiences intersect with yours?

Even a story that’s entirely unique to you can reveal something familiar to someone else.

How to make your story more engaging: A quick self-review

The next time you’re preparing a story for a speech, article, presentation, or even a conversation, try asking yourself these five questions:

1. What’s the point? Can I explain why I’m telling this story in one sentence?
2. What can I leave out? Are there details that distract from the central idea or slow things down unnecessarily?
3. What will make someone curious? Is there a question, surprise, or moment of uncertainty that encourages the audience to keep going?
4. Am I showing or explaining? Could a specific moment communicate something more effectively than a general statement?
5. Where’s the connection? Have I given my audience a way to recognize something familiar, even if they’ve never had this particular experience?

You don’t need to treat these questions as a rigid formula. Not every story needs suspense, a dramatic turning point, or an emotional revelation.

Think of them as tools to help you recognize what’s working and what could be stronger.

The stories worth telling are all around you

You don’t need to climb Mount Everest, overcome extraordinary odds, or experience something life-changing to tell a story that resonates.

Some of the most memorable stories come from ordinary moments: a conversation, a misunderstanding, an unexpected realization, or something you noticed on an otherwise unremarkable day.

What makes those stories compelling isn’t necessarily the experience itself. It’s what you notice about it, what you choose to share, and the meaning you draw from it.

That gives others a chance to see the world through your eyes, and perhaps recognize something of themselves along the way.